End Hiring Agreeable People for Customer Service: Why Attitude Beats Agreeableness Every Time
I’ll share something that will likely offend every HR professional who sees this: recruiting people for customer service due to how “nice” they appear in an meeting is one of the most significant mistakes you can commit.
Pleasant gets you nowhere when someone is yelling at you about a problem that isn’t your fault, requiring fixes that cannot exist, and stating to ruin your business on social media.
That which succeeds in those situations is toughness, controlled boundary-setting, and the skill to stay focused on outcomes rather than emotions.
I figured out this reality the hard way while working with a major shopping company in Melbourne. Their recruitment system was completely based on identifying “people-focused” applicants who were “genuinely nice” and “thrived on helping people.”
Appears sensible, right?
This result: astronomical employee departures, ongoing sick leave, and client experience that was consistently average.
When I examined what was occurring, I found that their “nice” people were becoming completely destroyed by difficult clients.
Such staff had been recruited for their genuine empathy and need to help others, but they had no training or natural protection against internalizing every customer’s negative emotions.
Even worse, their inherent inclination to please people meant they were continuously agreeing to expectations they couldn’t fulfill, which caused even greater frustrated clients and additional pressure for themselves.
We watched really caring people quit in short periods because they struggled to handle the psychological impact of the role.
At the same time, the few people who performed well in challenging client relations environments had completely alternative personalities.
They did not seem especially “nice” in the typical sense. Alternatively, they were tough, confident, and at ease with establishing standards. They really desired to serve clients, but they also had the ability to say “no” when required.
Those staff managed to acknowledge a client’s frustration without taking it as their fault. They could keep professional when people became abusive. They managed to focus on finding realistic outcomes rather than getting caught up in emotional arguments.
Those traits had nothing to do with being “pleasant” and significant amounts to do with mental competence, personal confidence, and coping ability.
The team completely redesigned their recruitment approach. Rather than looking for “agreeable” candidates, we started evaluating for toughness, solution-finding skills, and ease with standard-maintaining.
Throughout assessments, we gave applicants with typical customer service examples: upset people, unreasonable demands, and circumstances where there was absolutely no ideal resolution.
Rather than questioning how they would keep the person satisfied, we inquired how they would handle the scenario effectively while preserving their own mental health and upholding organizational policies.
The candidates who performed excellently in these situations were infrequently the ones who had originally seemed most “pleasant.”
Instead, they were the ones who exhibited logical thinking under stress, ease with stating “I can’t do that” when appropriate, and the capacity to differentiate their individual feelings from the person’s emotional situation.
Six months after implementing this new selection strategy, representative retention dropped by over significantly. Client experience rose substantially, but more significantly, satisfaction especially for demanding customer encounters improved significantly.
Let me explain why this strategy is effective: customer service is essentially about solution-finding under challenging conditions, not about being constantly appreciated.
Clients who reach customer service are typically previously annoyed. They have a issue they cannot fix themselves, they’ve often beforehand attempted multiple approaches, and they need skilled support, not shallow niceness.
The thing that angry clients genuinely require is a person who:
Acknowledges their problem quickly and precisely
Shows authentic ability in comprehending and handling their problem
Gives clear details about what is possible to and is not possible to be achieved
Accepts appropriate measures promptly and continues through on promises
Keeps professional demeanor even when the person turns upset
Observe that “pleasantness” isn’t appear anywhere on that set of requirements.
Competence, calm composure, and reliability matter far more than pleasantness.
In fact, too much agreeableness can sometimes be counterproductive in customer service situations. When clients are really angry about a serious issue, inappropriately cheerful or energetic responses can seem as dismissive, fake, or insensitive.
We worked with a investment company company where client relations people had been instructed to constantly keep “positive attitude” regardless of the person’s situation.
Such an approach was effective reasonably well for routine questions, but it was totally inappropriate for major problems.
When customers called because they’d missed significant quantities of money due to system mistakes, or because they were facing financial crisis and needed to arrange assistance alternatives, forced positive behavior appeared as insensitive and wrong.
I taught their representatives to match their emotional approach to the seriousness of the customer’s situation. Serious concerns required professional, professional responses, not forced upbeat energy.
Customer satisfaction increased instantly, especially for complex situations. Customers felt that their problems were being treated appropriately and that the representatives assisting them were skilled professionals rather than merely “nice” individuals.
That leads me to a different crucial consideration: the distinction between understanding and interpersonal taking on.
Skilled customer service representatives require understanding – the capacity to acknowledge and validate another person’s emotional states and perspectives.
But they definitely do never should have to take on those negative energy as their own.
Psychological absorption is what happens when client relations people commence experiencing the same frustration, stress, or hopelessness that their customers are going through.
That psychological absorption is remarkably draining and results to burnout, reduced performance, and excessive turnover.
Professional understanding, on the other hand, allows representatives to understand and attend to people’s interpersonal needs without accepting ownership for fixing the client’s emotional state.
That distinction is crucial for maintaining both professional effectiveness and personal health.
So, what should you screen for when hiring client relations people?
To start, emotional competence and toughness. Search for candidates who can remain composed under pressure, who won’t take person upset as their fault, and who can separate their own emotions from another person’s psychological conditions.
Second, analytical skills. Customer service is essentially about recognizing problems and finding practical solutions. Search for individuals who handle problems methodically and who can think logically even when working with emotional customers.
Furthermore, comfort with limit-establishing. Search for individuals who can communicate “no” appropriately but clearly when required, and who appreciate the gap between remaining accommodating and being manipulated.
Additionally, real engagement in solution-finding rather than just “helping people.” The best support representatives are driven by the intellectual challenge of fixing difficult problems, not just by a need to be liked.
Lastly, career self-assurance and inner strength. Client relations people who appreciate themselves and their work competence are much superior at preserving healthy relationships with clients and offering dependably professional service.
Keep in mind: you’re not selecting candidates to be customer service buddies or psychological support workers. You’re hiring skilled problem-solvers who can offer excellent service while preserving their own mental health and maintaining appropriate boundaries.
Recruit for effectiveness, toughness, and appropriate behavior. Agreeableness is secondary. Service excellence is mandatory.
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