End Hiring Nice People for Customer Service: How Personality Beats Niceness Every Time
I’m about to say something that will probably annoy every HR person who reads this: hiring people for customer service due to how “pleasant” they come across in an interview is among of the biggest blunders you can commit.
Nice becomes you nothing when a person is raging at you about a problem that was not your doing, insisting on outcomes that don’t exist, and promising to ruin your reputation on online platforms.
That which is effective in those encounters is resilience, calm limit-establishing, and the capacity to keep clear-headed on results rather than feelings.
I figured out this lesson the challenging way while working with a large shopping business in Melbourne. Their recruitment process was entirely focused on finding “service-minded” people who were “genuinely pleasant” and “enjoyed helping people.”
Sounds logical, yes?
Their consequence: sky-high turnover, continuous sick leave, and customer experience that was perpetually average.
When I examined what was occurring, I discovered that their “pleasant” employees were being completely devastated by difficult people.
Such employees had been hired for their natural empathy and wish to help others, but they had zero preparation or natural protection against taking on every customer’s difficult feelings.
Worse, their genuine desire to satisfy people meant they were continuously saying yes to requests they were unable to meet, which caused even more angry people and additional pressure for themselves.
I observed really caring employees resign within days because they were unable to handle the mental toll of the work.
Simultaneously, the rare employees who performed well in challenging customer service roles had entirely alternative characteristics.
They did not seem necessarily “pleasant” in the typical sense. Instead, they were strong, self-assured, and comfortable with setting standards. They genuinely aimed to assist clients, but they also had the ability to communicate “no” when appropriate.
Such people managed to recognize a person’s upset without making it personally. They managed to stay composed when clients became demanding. They managed to focus on finding practical fixes rather than being caught up in dramatic conflicts.
Such qualities had nothing to do with being “pleasant” and significant amounts to do with psychological competence, personal security, and resilience.
The team totally redesigned their selection process. Instead of looking for “agreeable” candidates, we began testing for resilience, analytical ability, and ease with limit-establishing.
Throughout assessments, we presented applicants with typical customer service scenarios: upset people, unreasonable expectations, and circumstances where there was absolutely no complete fix.
Rather than inquiring how they would make the person happy, we questioned how they would manage the situation appropriately while protecting their own wellbeing and upholding company policies.
Our applicants who responded best in these situations were rarely the ones who had originally come across as most “pleasant.”
Rather, they were the ones who showed clear reasoning under challenging conditions, ease with communicating “I can’t do that” when appropriate, and the capacity to separate their personal reactions from the person’s psychological condition.
Half a year after implementing this new selection method, employee satisfaction fell by nearly significantly. Client experience rose remarkably, but more notably, ratings specifically for challenging customer interactions increased significantly.
Let me explain why this method works: support is essentially about issue resolution under stress, not about being universally liked.
Clients who contact customer service are typically already annoyed. They have a issue they can’t fix themselves, they’ve frequently beforehand tried multiple solutions, and they want skilled assistance, not superficial pleasantries.
That which angry people really require is someone who:
Recognizes their concern immediately and correctly
Demonstrates authentic ability in comprehending and resolving their situation
Offers straightforward information about what might and cannot be achieved
Takes reasonable measures promptly and follows through on commitments
Preserves professional composure even when the person becomes upset
Notice that “agreeableness” isn’t show up anywhere on that list.
Skill, professionalism, and reliability count significantly more than agreeableness.
In fact, excessive pleasantness can actually work against you in customer service encounters. When people are truly upset about a major concern, overly upbeat or bubbly responses can appear as inappropriate, insincere, or tone-deaf.
The team consulted with a financial services company where support representatives had been taught to always display “upbeat attitude” regardless of the person’s circumstances.
This strategy was effective reasonably well for basic questions, but it was completely unsuitable for major issues.
When customers called because they’d lost large amounts of money due to technical failures, or because they were facing monetary crisis and required to explore assistance options, inappropriately cheerful behavior seemed as uncaring and wrong.
I taught their staff to adapt their communication approach to the seriousness of the person’s situation. Major issues demanded professional, competent treatment, not artificial upbeat energy.
Client experience improved immediately, especially for complex issues. Clients felt that their concerns were being taken seriously and that the people helping them were skilled service providers rather than just “nice” individuals.
It brings me to one more important consideration: the gap between compassion and emotional taking on.
Effective client relations representatives need empathy – the skill to acknowledge and validate someone else’s person’s feelings and perspectives.
But they definitely do not should have to absorb those feelings as their own.
Emotional absorption is what happens when support representatives start feeling the same upset, worry, or distress that their customers are feeling.
This interpersonal internalization is extremely draining and leads to emotional breakdown, reduced effectiveness, and high employee departures.
Appropriate empathy, on the other hand, permits staff to acknowledge and react to clients’ interpersonal requirements without making ownership for resolving the client’s mental wellbeing.
This distinction is vital for maintaining both professional effectiveness and personal stability.
So, what should you screen for when recruiting customer service staff?
First, emotional intelligence and resilience. Screen for individuals who can remain calm under stress, who do not take client frustration personally, and who can differentiate their own reactions from someone else’s person’s mental conditions.
Next, analytical ability. Customer service is basically about identifying issues and finding effective resolutions. Look for people who approach difficulties methodically and who can analyze effectively even when working with upset individuals.
Furthermore, ease with boundary-setting. Look for candidates who can say “no” politely but firmly when necessary, and who recognize the gap between remaining supportive and being manipulated.
Additionally, genuine engagement in helping people rather than just “accommodating people.” The most effective client relations representatives are motivated by the mental satisfaction of solving complex issues, not just by a need to be approved of.
Lastly, career security and inner strength. Support staff who respect themselves and their professional competence are significantly superior at keeping professional relationships with people and providing consistently excellent service.
Don’t forget: you’re not selecting individuals to be customer service buddies or psychological comfort workers. You’re hiring competent professionals who can offer outstanding service while preserving their own professional dignity and maintaining reasonable boundaries.
Select for skill, strength, and work quality. Niceness is secondary. Service quality is mandatory.
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